To judge or not to judge

“Your perception of me is a refection of you”-

I read this quote sometime ago and it struck a chord. It is true that our worst fears in fact stem from our own insecurities. The more I think about it, the more I can relate to it. I used to be a very judgemental person, looking at people with my own skewed sense of the world. That was hence my worst fear, of being judged by other people. But I like to believe that I am no longer ‘that’ person.

Being a parent has changed me in a lot of ways and this is definitely one of them.  I realise that the more I experience, the lesser I judge. Before I became a parent, I was quick to criticise people whose kids were not well behaved. Now I know better and I can empathise. I know that everyone has bad days and even especially kids. Earlier I judged people who were late to every single occassion and blamed their kids, every single time. Now, although I still think it’s the parent’s and not the kids’ fault if they are late but I give them more levy that I would have. I was so foolish to judge people so quickly, just because their choice was different from mine. It has been true for many many such parenting decisions, to breastfeed or go the formula way, to homeschool or to send your kid to school, to be a SAHM or continue to work. Now I know that there is no right and wrong for these decisions and I’m sure, so many others. It is all about what is right for you, given your circumstances.

And I realise the lesser I judge other people, the lesser I judge myself too. When I stopped looking at people and placing them on scales of right and wrong, I was fairer to myself and much happier with the choices I made.  Although I still catch myself looking at somebody in disdain at what I think is a poor choice, I stop myself more often than not. I am a lot better than what I used to be but I guess there is always more room for improvement.